Imposter syndrome

Curse or Blessing?

What is imposter syndrome?

This is a feeling of anxiety and not belonging. Often, its made up of people not experiencing success internally despite often being a high performer or achiever. Its a feeling of not believing in oneself or that you deserve to be where you are, whether in relationships, work or other ventures. The word "imposter" encompasses it quite well - you feel out of place, incompetent or not intelligent enough for whatever endeavor you're applying yourself to. Worst of all, you feel as though someone may catch you out in the act and tell you that indeed, you are not worthy of the position you hold. Daunting and scary stuff!

How does it control us?

The overwhelming response to this is that it creates anxiety. With every decision comes overanalysing, overthinking every eventuality, doubt, worry about what move to make next as if one decision will impact the remainder of your life. Having said this, most people who suffer from imposter syndrome, don't let it deter them from the goal at hand. They will still apply for that job even if they think they won't get it, they'll still lead a team well even if they think the manager made a mistake putting them there.

I do wonder if those experiencing imposter syndrome hold a "timeline" if you will, in their mind about how fast one is supposed to progress through life milestones? Does having that timeline limit them in how much they push themselves? Or do we try to move past it and put ourselves in an uncomfortable mental space to still keep achieving them? I'm sure both could be true. I wonder if we put our own expected timelines on others? Do we judge others when they achieve less or more than what we "expect". These are things to question and challenge within oneself.

My own experience:

Throughout my life I have always strived for high achievement and been ambitious in the path I chose. I enjoyed reaching beyond what I thought I was capable of because it always came as a sense of suprise and then, pride. As a child, I was met mostly with praise which spurred me further. However, as an adult, I was always met with external judgement - "you're too young to apply for that course", "don't you think you need more experience applying for that role?", “don't you think you need more connections before starting that business venture?”. At the time, I took these on board, harshly so - was I too young or inexperienced? Did I need to give myself more time before pushing forward? Was I ready for a new challenge? Starting a new business now- Am I too young? Do I know what I'm doing? External judgement became internal doubt and overthinking each next step. Anxiety was at the core of every decision much to my dismay.

Is there a way to use it to our benefit?

Its important to know that almost 70 percent of people experience this to some degree either throughout their life or at some point within their life - Valerie Young explains this quite well in her YouTube video (Thinking your way out of imposter syndrome). Furthermore, this feeling often does not change and the syndrome could continue throughout your life, even with years of experience and knowledge under your belt. We certainly are not alone in the feeling and is there not strength in numbers? Is that not empowering?

How can we move forward?

The thing is, there's no correct path or certain amount of time you need to spend doing a role before you can pursue another. There is no right or wrong way to progress yourself or reach for the next goal. There is no set timeline or necessary experience needed for you to choose your path. And it's your life to live the way you choose, so is there much sense in worrying about external judgment?

There are loads of resources out there to combat the feeling, to challenge your emotions here and to allow you to make a breakthrough around how to overcome imposter syndrome itself. However, many explain that the feelings persist beyond this, that there is no direct solution. The feelings of self doubt, of feeling being out of place, of not belonging often will stick with you throughout your life.

Perhaps the answer is in acceptance of the situation, of yourself and of the circumstances. Perhaps true acceptance can bring clarity and alignment in your thoughts and feelings. In summary, accepting imposter syndrome is not about resigning yourself to self-doubt but rather recognizing it as a challenge as well as a strength. It opens the door to self-discovery, personal growth, and a more positive mindset.